Why Women Chose the Bear: A Reflection on Fear and Safety

Recently, social media posed a question that left many people reflecting deeply on the reality women face every day. The question was simple: “If you’re alone in the woods, would you rather run into a bear or a strange man?” For many women, the answer was clear—they would rather face the bear. But why?

The reasons behind this answer reveal much about the state of safety and trust for women in today’s world. It’s not a light-hearted comparison; it’s a stark reflection of the fears and experiences that women navigate every single day. Here’s why many women chose the bear, and why it matters that we listen.

1. The Bear Won’t Gaslight You Into Liking It

When faced with danger, a bear is driven by instinct, not manipulation. It won’t tell you to act like you’re enjoying the encounter. Women know that if they face a strange man with ill intentions, they could be coerced or manipulated, with their own survival hinging on compliance.

2. The Bear Won’t Call Himself Daddy

There’s a disturbing reality that some attackers will attempt to dominate and demean, demanding control in the most twisted ways. The bear, in its rawness, is just a bear—there’s no manipulation, humiliation, or psychological torment involved.

3. The Bear’s Friends Won’t Lie for It

Surviving an attack is just the beginning for many women. In cases involving a man, they often face a wall of denial from the attacker’s friends and enablers, people willing to lie to protect someone they know. With a bear, there are no accomplices ready to twist the truth or undermine the victim.

4. You Won’t Be Blamed for Being Attacked by a Bear

One of the most painful experiences survivors face is being asked what they were wearing, where they were, or what they were doing that caused the attack. It’s a narrative that implies blame. When a bear attacks, no one asks these questions. It’s understood that the bear acted out of instinct, not because of something the victim did.

5. Screaming Might Scare the Bear Away

There’s a chance that a bear might run if you scream loudly enough. It’s a possibility that holds hope for escape. For many women, however, screaming or resisting against a man can escalate the situation and increase danger.

6. The Bear Won’t Record It for Profit

The horrifying reality is that some attackers not only commit their crimes but also film them, adding another layer of trauma by sharing and profiting from it. A bear won’t capture the attack for others to watch, consume, and comment on.

7. No One Will Question If You Wanted the Bear to Attack You

In cases of assault by men, survivors often hear the question, “Are you sure you didn’t want it?” The implication that a victim may have secretly desired their own trauma is devastating. With a bear, there’s no room for such an insinuation.

8. There’s No Redemption Arc for the Bear

After an assault, it’s not uncommon for the media to paint perpetrators as “good men” with “promising futures,” focusing on the damage to the attacker’s reputation or career rather than the survivor’s trauma. A bear isn’t granted this narrative. No one will lament the bear’s future prospects.

9. Sympathy Might Actually Be Offered

Women know that if they were to be attacked by a bear, the reaction would likely be one of sympathy and understanding. But when attacked by a man, they often face disbelief, victim-blaming, and cold scrutiny.

10. The Bear Won’t Threaten Your Loved Ones

Survivors of assault by men often face threats to their families and loved ones if they speak out. A bear, driven by primal instincts, has no motive to threaten or silence you beyond the initial encounter.

11. The Bear Won’t Deceive You First

Many women have been attacked by someone who spent months, even years, building trust and gaining access to their lives. A bear isn’t capable of deception—it acts on impulse, not manipulation.

12. You Won’t Have to Relive It in Court

For survivors of assault by men, seeking justice often means facing their attacker in court, reliving the trauma, and being interrogated by strangers. With a bear, the attack is seen as an act of nature, not a scenario that demands public recounting.

13. People Might Believe You

Survivors of violence by men often find their stories met with skepticism. But if you were attacked by a bear, the immediate assumption would be one of belief and action—not doubt.

14. No One Will Critique Your Past Encounters with Bears

Survivors often hear accusations that their history—who they’ve dated, their social circles, their choices—somehow justifies what happened to them. No one would ever use your proximity to other bears to justify a bear attack.

15. No Co-Parenting Nightmares

After an assault, some survivors find themselves in custody battles or forced interactions with their attacker due to shared children. A bear poses no such lingering threat.

16. PTSD Won’t Be Met with “Not All Bears”

After facing violence from a man, survivors who express their fear and trauma often hear the dismissive refrain, “Not all men.” But acknowledging fear of bears is met with understanding and precaution, not defensiveness.

17. Some Fates Are Worse Than Death

This is a grim but honest reflection. Women are raised with the knowledge that some acts of violence can cause lifelong harm, not just physical but emotional and psychological. A bear’s attack may be deadly, but it doesn’t leave survivors with the enduring pain and stigmatization of human cruelty.

Not All Bears, and Not All Men—But How Can We Tell?

This conversation isn’t about demonizing all men. It’s about recognizing that the fear many women feel is rooted in real experiences and systemic issues. The truth is, women don’t know which men are safe and which are not. In the woods, a bear’s intentions are clearer than a stranger’s.

Women aren’t choosing the bear because they want to vilify men—they’re choosing it because the bear represents an attack that’s immediate, understood, and, above all, believed. And until we create a world where women feel as safe with men as they do with nature’s most feared creatures, we have a lot of work to do.

Let’s continue to challenge the culture of disbelief, victim-blaming, and toxic masculinity. Let’s create a society where all women feel safe, respected, and valued—where no one has to choose between the lesser of two dangers.